Knife Writer

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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

What a Cameron!

Argh well you might already have heard of David Cameron's blog, at, where twice weekly, a new video is posted of him clearing up porridge or something. It is actually hilarious. Also, he visits the New Delhi Metro. I had no idea India had a Metro. But anyway there's another site you should go to -, the site of poet and performer Cameron M. Semmens. He's got some pretty fizzy poems up there, such as 'Fruit 35' which is a bit like a monologue I wrote a while ago that is meant to be said by a giant apple, who is the Best Man at his friend's wedding: I have been asked to give a peach to celebrate one of the most beautiful figs in the world; marriage. On the day after tomato our two grape friends will be sunning themselves in the Sardines. They have cultivated a great parsnip in their field, and have decided they are ripe for marriage. They are two peas ready to be joined in the eyes of pod. I could (if I so squished) list many raisins why they have grown together. But I have to say Sat, Suma, I am in love with you. This is not just passion, fruit. This is no trifling matter. I speak from the bottom of my tart and I grate to say this in front of my best blend, for he is Golden, and, I suspect, Delicious. But from the moment I set my pies on you, I have been fertilised. We could have been a great pear. I feel like a compote saying this, but it is the truth. The puree truth. But kiwi be together? No. I have made a pricot fool of myself. So I shall mango back to the fridge. I am sausage. --- (Did you notice how only the last line is not a fruit or veg pun, but a meat pun? Did you?!)

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