Knife Writer

The den of the thisisaknife team

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Covered in Bees

Do you remember that man who was copying our bee idea? He sent a lot of footage.. here's a 2 min chunk where we see him clearly trying to chat a woman up using bees as a decoy. Sickening. Ooo - by the way, here's the youtube version of the Pirate Rap, in the small likelyhood you'll ever want to listen to it again:

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006


We're always hearing about older guys who prey on youngsters via the Instant Messenger. In fact, MSN Messenger know has a special button that allows you to report such people. But Catch a Perv have gone one better, and lure unsuspecting men by pretending to be young girls. Playing them at their own game or stooping to their level? You decide. But my favourite is still #006.

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Go Slo-Mo

Most people use the internet just for internet stuff, so it's nice to see people putting it to some real life use for a change. Improv Everywhere like to organise 'scenes of chaos and joy' in public places - using the power of the internet to get groups of people together for the sake of performace art/fun. They've set off 60 mobile phones in a book-shop, and performed a mass impersonation of shop staff in Best Buy, but their latest event is their greatest triumph - Slo-Mo Home Depot, where they encouraged people to shop in slow-motion for five minutes, and then freeze, as everyone else shopped around them. All in the Manhattan branch of Home Depot. Here's a sample with everything sped up just a little bit:

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Friday, August 25, 2006

Chicken Licken Good

Who'd have thought. The world is going to end. And it's going to be 2 weeks on Tuesday. Yisrayl Hawkins is a vlogging minister from the House of Yahweh, a religious group he set up himself. He has announced that, on the 12th of September, nuclear war will begin, and he's become a bit of a web celeb as a result. Yisrayl used to be called Bill, and was a country singer, until he changed his name and became awful famous over in Texas. Now he's going to be talking to Donal about the forthcoming apocalypse. Lord save us.

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Monday, August 21, 2006

Send an Oceangram

People complain all the time about how they get too many emails - "I never get the chance to work with all these bloody emails people keep sending me". And it's true that the constant mix of work demands, domestic nags and general NSFW can curb your ability to work, but what's the alternative? Maybe people will STFU if you start sending them stuff via Oceangram. You just type your message, put it in a virtual bottle and cast it out into the vast ocean of the internet. So if you've got an urgent message you need to send that absolutely has to get there immediately, remember that you might have more chance of someone seeing it if you just chuck it in the sea.

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Thursday, August 17, 2006

Traffic Taming

Here's something: an alternative edit of the Metaphor Matador's amazing traffic control trick. How does it work? Includes a lovely smile at the end.

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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Net Neutrality

Do we really have to think about Net Neutrality? It's starting to confuse me already. Rocketboom did a piece on it, which helped. But we still weren't totally sure, so this week's show uses a metaphor to help everyone understand. Maybe. For now, here's the WeAreTheWeb song... featuring web celebs trying their damnedest to make it simple for you:

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Monday, August 14, 2006

They're Gonna Taste Grate

Now, everyone knows about the new Frosties advert with the really annoying kid. You know, the one with the really annoying song in which he crowbars in as many spurious things that rhyme with 'great' as possible. Well, the internet being what it is, many people have had a bit of fun with it, and here are a couple of our favourites. First, the original: Painful. Next, here's a great remix using Aphex Twin's 'Come To Daddy'. Watch out for the bit where a psychedelic Tony the Tiger screams 'Come To Daddy' while tempting you with a bowl of his finest. And here he is cut to Prodigy's "Firestarter". Dunno why this one appeals to me so much, except that the music's pretty sinister while the kid just can't stop being so bloody cheerful. Well, I hope that's made him marginally more palatable. Shame we can't do the same thing with Frosties themselves.

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Friday, August 11, 2006

My, Haven't You Groan!

When we originally filmed the Popularity Dialer sketch for this week's show, we made it a lot longer. And darker. So here it is in all its glory - with added groaning noises from the dying father.

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Thursday, August 10, 2006

The United AOL of Wrong

The big news today is that AOL somehow managed to make available a lot of their users' search records for a few hours - in which time it was hacked more than possibly imaginable. Most of the records are pretty mundane, but then you strike it lucky with one that reveals a little too much about someone - for instance this woman who searches for "wife wants a divorce and husband is an alcoholic business owner." And there's plenty of very, very wrong people like this, who starts by searching for "bible translation best", but later moves on to "holland preteen nudism." Christ.

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Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Gone for a Barclays

While at the masturbate-a-thon at the weekend, Donal caught up with Dr Carol Queen, sexologist and bona fide masturbation expert and asked her a few questions about the task in hand (arf! arf!). As part of our continuing commitment to bring you more, here are the edited highlights.

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Monday, August 07, 2006

Dead Things: We Were First!

2 weeks ago, we first started banging on about making Bees into muffs, and other taxidermical delights. Well now everyone's caught up and realised how very interesting the world of stuffing dead things is, with a new internet obsession with this dead rat, which has been mummified using ancient Egyptian methods. Not for the squeamish. But then Kate Moss bought a dead tit for some reason, and even rocketboom had something to say on the matter. Even though that was really more about a cake made of meat.

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Friday, August 04, 2006

Tommy Tanker

So tomorrow, along with our bee collection on Trafalgar Square at 1-3pm, we're going to be visiting the first ever annual international masturbate-a-thon. No idea what we'll be doing there, but expect hand-shandy gags galore. If you've got an idea of what we can ask, email

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Thursday, August 03, 2006

Sexy Girl Does Sexy thisisaknife Sex Dance

Nothing like a bit of nakedness to get your ratings to rocket. That's the thought behind this video, anyway.

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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

More Nerd Punk with Brent Simon

More exciting extra footage. For those of you who wanted hear more about Nerd Punk - the musical style pioneered by Brent Simon, whom we featured a few weeks ago - here's your chance. We sent him a load of questions and he answered them on his webcam. Thanks Brent! We've split it up into two parts for your easy viewing pleasure: Part 1 Part 2

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Donal Rings That Bell

We could only show you a small fraction of Donal's conversation with the lovely Andrea Lowell (did we mention she was a Playboy model?), but here's the whole damn thing. So now you can hear Donal get tongue-tied talking to a beautiful lady, and asking some pretty weird questions. Andrea stays pretty calm, considering she didn't realise she was being interviewed for the show. Enjoy:

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